Stop Telling Women They’re Not Fat

Let’s Say This Instead

“Shut up, you are not fat!” I said.

But it’s not what I wanted to say.

It’s just what I felt socially obligated to say.

I’ve been in this situation dozens of dozens of times.

A woman standing before me as a client or sitting across from me as a friend is telling me how she needs to lose weight, how out of shape she is, how fat she feels, how unattractive her body is, and by social norms and standard procedure I am to continually disagree and then affirm her by saying things like:

“You don’t need to lose weight, you look great!”

“You’re not fat, you’re beautiful.”

“ You don’t have big legs. You’re so strong and healthy.”

But I don’t want to say these things, not because I don’t mean them, but because they fuel the fire and continue the cycle.

They’re but another rehearsal for another performance that will play out again tomorrow or the next day among women here or elsewhere.

I don’t want to keep telling women “You’re not fat.”
I want to change this conversation altogether.