The Surprising Truth About How To Actually Gain Confidence

Photo by Court Cook on Unsplash

I write a weekly blog here that’s primarily about women’s health (particularly how our health pertains to our self-confidence and how our self-confidence pertains to our health.)

There, and on my instagram, I talk a lot about why I believe it’s so dang important that we like ourselves (not just love, but like) and why having confidence in one’s self matters deeply.

People (not just women) tend to think confidence comes from being good at something.

• You’re a good soccer player -> which leads to confidence in your soccer abilities.
• You’re great at debating -> so you feel confident in your debate skills.

And we also tend to believe the reverse of that is true as well: a lack of confidence comes from being bad at something.

• You try salsa dancing & can’t quite get it -> so you don’t feel confident in this skill.
• You know you’re no good at cooking -> so you feel unconfident in the kitchen.

Turns out, neither of this is inherently true — and if they happen to prove true in your own life, it’s probably a coincidence or a conclusion you drew by skipping a few steps from there to here.